In keeping with the natural order of things and the fact that change is
inevitable, I've updated my blog page. I've neglected my blog for quite
some time now. There was a small part of me that hoped it would sustain
itself and that, somehow, it could know me and write for me all the longings
and lessons of my heart. But that is the dreamer in me--the part of me
that has remained too small in the face of truth. Logic tells me that
dreams and magic are two very different things. But isn't there a sort of
magic in all dreams?
A friend of mine was talking about miracles the other day. Not the
kind of miracles granted by God, but the kind of miracles we see in life every
day, the kind of miracles we see in hope, love, and change.
The more she spoke about the benefits of changing one's attitude and
perspective, the more I began to see myself in her--not the self I've been, but
the self I wish to be. Yet I couldn't help but wonder why, if this change
is what I really want, it is so difficult to achieve. My friend's philosophy
stems from the idea that the only person you can change is yourself; it is not
our job to change other people. How true this is! Yet we (I)
pretend that this is not so.
Honesty is such a vast thing. And so small, too, so easily
hidden. When I am honest with myself I am able to grant myself a place in
this world much more meaningful than the space I fill by merely existing.
Being honest means giving your voice to the unforgiving wind that seeks to
destroy your expression. Being honest means loving yourself enough to
know what you want, think, believe, and need and then having the courage and
confidence to speak those things.
I will admit, there is a part of me that's floating away, and I'm not sure
where that fierce wind is trying to take me. The question now is, does my
voice sing with that wind or fight against it?
I'm dreaming more these days. I welcome the judges. They have always
been here; now, I'm not pretending they don't exist.
Many of you who read this will wonder what I'm talking about and why I'm being so vague. It must seem like I'm trying to tell you something while I'm not really telling you anything at all. This post seems to be about so many things and about nothing specific at the same time. Well, there we go, floating away. It happens when we least expect it, and rarely do we see it coming.
Your heart has answers, and if you will just close your eyes and listen, you might hear them.
